The Revelations
December 16, 2007
I may seem crazy and/or painfully shy..
But I am not stranger, though you still believe that I am yours
Wondering is this one for the people or is this one for the lord?
I just want to be set free from these chains that are holding me,
But is anyone really hearing me’
Staring in the mirror, a self image looking straight through my eyes
Looking at how far that I’ve come, and it’s been a long time coming
While in this frame of mind’
I would like to take a moment of time, to apologize to the girls whose hearts I’ve broken, apologize for the games I’ve played (but the joke was really on me), because I thought I knew you, I thought I knew me, I thought I knew what was most important, when really I still had a lot of growing up to do but believe that I am different now,
You have helped me grow, a relief of the deadly scars, and maybe little and/or nothing at all, but nothing means more than what was shared,
An understanding of why the best things are free
No need for expensive gifts, roses, constant poetic content, mistrust or anything that I seemed to forget’
When time alone is all that she wanted’
I heard you talking before, but I didn’t hear what you were saying
I don’t hear your voice anymore, but now I hear everything you were saying
-A picture painted by the writing of unspoken word, a picture destroyed by unspoken words-
I am fighting voices in my head,
I don’t sleep’ so I know that I am not dreaming
This shit is as real as it comes, I have seen it all and lived through some of the worst,
Remembering how my mother’s grocery list, always included roach spray and food when she had a little extra money’
She was married, but raised me as a single parent
While in this frame of mind..
I just want to say “Mama I Made it”
“I told you one day that I would take all the pain away”
Remember staying out all night, Looking back, “Lol!!!” remembering the names that I was called, and the references made… “street thug, hoodlum, etc.” “I was not suppose to be shit…”
My own father did not believe in me…
But I fucking made it..ha ha ha..
Praying to God that I was dreaming, because I been through so much in this life of my
These chains continue to hold me
But is anyone really hearing me’
Watching the morning break another day’
‘Contemplating about how could J-work be doing time, another victim of racism today’
‘I got you homie’
Staring in the mirror, a self image looking straight through my eyes
Looking at how far that I’ve come, and it’s been a long time coming
But still no one seems to understand the pain that lies deep inside’
On the outside all they see is the perfect light..
Understand how much it hurts to be the one..
The one who is lost inside the walls that he has built,
-A Shell…the disease of self-
A prison deep within my soul, the image of God underneath my skin
Still haven’t forgave myself for some of the cards that I have dealt
So I give back as I receive…
But, lately I have been living on the edge, out of control,
You know chilling in the club with the phony homies..
Wondering who is this man that I’ve become, and why the dark ones continue to scream my name’
So close to hell’
My walk, seems to have become a crawl,
But honesty has become me
With God I can not lose
I have no secrets that can wrong me
Wondering is this one for the people, or is this one for the lord?
I should have been an English major but I mastered chemistry anyway..
Wondering when will I master life’
(Written By: Jacque CouSto, Inspired by “Plumb and The Jars of Clay”)
“The Revelations”
From The Book: “I Should Have Been An English Major but I Mastered Chemistry Anyway”
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